Subconcious

Note to myself

2011-04-27T05:52:00.001-07:00

Move on,

FML

2011-04-27T05:12:00.000-07:00

Im just gng to release my anger here since no one wants to hear me out,

first of all i think my mum hates me. everytime i try talking to her, she seems to show no interest in every word i say. Same goes to my dad. I feel that im lacking of attention in this family. My parents only favours my little sister. the only reason why my parents pays a lot of attention to her is cse she's the youngest and also the smartest in the family. My eldest sister, is currently away at college now. I really miss her soo much. I hate staying at home with my family. I want my sister back home. When she's home, everyone seems to be in a good mood. Its like everyone reunites. I love her so much yknw, we have so many things in common, she understands me the most. I tell her every single thing all the time. I used to tell my mum everything though. Since my mum is ignoring me, i have nobody to talk to. I cant really call my sister, she's having her exam week. :/

Other than that, my lovelife sucks. I thought i can get some love from my other half but it seems like he's also stressing out about something else. I feel very lonely without his presence. He's also ignoring me now. I just wish he could take a step back and try to understand that his not the only one going through a hard time. He said he has lots of homeworks and all but tmrw he's going out with his frnds. -.- He cant even spend some quality time with me. Its not fair at all. He said im a control freak but he cant even take good care of me. I tried to tell him this so many time but he refuse to listen. Everytime i do, he walks away. And now he's online. I mean, sometimes i feel that he's lying. Most of the time i feel that he's just bored of me. Well wtvr it is, i dnt think i care anymore. People around me makes me react this way.

I just need to get out from this house! I want to meet new people. *NICE PEOPLE

I wanna go swimming in the ocean , go skydiving or bungee jumping. I want someone to make me laugh. Most important is, i just want the love from my family and my friends and that boy who used to make me feel alive.

Please,

2011-04-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

Dear God, please give me the strength to make it through the game tomorrow, Amen.

Died

2011-03-14T04:29:00.000-07:00

Everyone should just leave me alone. Nothing is making me feel better.

:)

2011-03-14T04:24:00.000-07:00

You know what?

2011-03-14T01:52:00.000-07:00

Im having weird feelings lately. I'm so bored with my life, i feel like everything around me bores me. I mean, there's something inside me is struggling to find something which idk what is it. Urgh i hate this. I just wanna spend my entire whole week with Altaf. I just wanna go picnic, make some homemade speghetti or cupcakes. I wanna paint so badly, i want colours. I want to bungee jumping and scream my lungs out, I wanna go skating at sunway, go out for movies, go to a museum( i know right?) or do wtvr that makes me feel happy. I bet you guys think im sooooo obsessed with this Altaf dude. Well im not. This dude, pretty much make reality less awful. I like him a lot. So just stfu and lemme finish blogging -.-

sigh, i feel like watching Easy A now. I love that movie. :')

I watched I AM NUMBER 4 last saturday. First movie that left me smiling and satisfied :)

Le sigh

2011-03-13T01:57:00.000-08:00

Everyone is ignoring me, including my parents. I feel so left out among my friends. I miss Altaf so much. :/ I just wanna be with him now but he's at Terengganu swimming with turtles. lol nahh just kiddin yo. But yeah, i miss him. I cant wait to go out tomorrow with tiqah. And i cant wait talk to altaf when he comes back home. sigh :'(

You think ,

2010-11-30T02:32:00.000-08:00

Dude, you think you're fucking depressed so you can shut people out from your life? If im the cause of your empiness, say it to my face. Tell me straight so i dont have to fucking wait for you anymore. Dont write it on your blog and ask me read it? Im no fucking toy you can play with and throw me aside. I have feelings asshole. If you have problems that involves me, stop avoiding then. All you have to do is talk to me. Fucking simple right? You dnt have to drag me into your stupid phase. If you think your life is goddamn boring. and all you want is to be free, tell me then. My life would be much easier if you're not acting like an asshole. Now this is depressed.

The whole world starts to shake

2010-09-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

Hello tthere,
I've been wanting to blog these past few days but been too busy with raya celebration with ze family and also, pmr <--- booo theres like 20 days left btw :( but look at the bright side, the faster the better so we pmr candidates can all enjoy our short freedom until the results will be announce right? right? hee :) 7 A's is enough for me. I dont mind getting a B or er, not C but a freaking B for my math. I worked hard on my math but if the result i'll be getting isn't equal to my hard work, then its okay. Well, it'd be okay :) seriously at this moment i feel so calm. I guess i should be doing revisions now. Bye bye

Happy 11th Anniversary dear ;)

I

2010-05-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

Officially hate my life. I know ive been saying this shit again and again. Well, i dnt care cause my life does sucks. It hasnt gotten any better since the day i started complaining about it. I dnt really like staying home or going back home or going school. I just hate everything in this world. I dnt have anyone to turn to cause my story bores everyone. I prefer to just shut up or just laugh. Thats just me right now. Boring fullstop. So today at school a few ppl said im like suffering frm mood swings. Yeah i am having it. Almost everyday. Im happy then im mad/sad. I need a therapist. haaahah ookay thts too much. Little things can piss me easily. Even jokes. Or i said something funny or i was joking and it didnt come out right. I cursed almost everyday. I dnt usually curse since i have this rule not to and it works. Im scared tht this mood swing wont go away and it'll effect on my results for this mid term. :( i wanna eat. bye

fucking tired

2010-05-19T05:28:00.001-07:00

How lovely

2010-04-23T00:39:00.000-07:00

Hello world,

As you all know, tomorrow is Interact i.u day. I was supposed to go out to buy a skirt today but my best mum in the whole wide world didnt let me go cause ive spent too much which made me feel very angry+frustrated cause i havent been going out at all this entire whole month. My savings are like woooshh, more than enough to shop. But wtvr. Im not gonna blog about that. I shall share with another interesting facts/story. Let me tell you about teachers nowadays, malays especially. They tent to insult their students infront of the whole class. Change that, they ENJOY insulting.

Firstly, i think as a teacher, you are matured and wise enough to tell the students personally that she or he has done something wrong, not taking an advantage as a teacher to announce our mistakes in public. Thats just stupid.

Secondly, gossiping about your students to other teachers. Gosh! Are you that lifeless? Dnt you have any other work to do like marking our freaking books!? You left our books aside and ask us to do the exercises you gave in a piece of paper? What crap is that? Seriously too much.

Thirdly, my school system sucks. I feel like studying abroad cause Malaysia education system sucks.

Lastly, i'll get a freaking A++++ for your freaking subject next term! Yes i will so that you can stfu.
I have school tomorrow- Monday timetable.
Okay bye bye.

Sixth

2010-04-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Happy 6 months anniversary! ;) ♥♥

When I think of you I don't feel so alone.

2010-04-03T05:43:00.000-07:00

I come up with something new.

2010-03-27T04:44:00.000-07:00